


From Dark Clouds to a Clear Azure Moon

by Zelinkslullaby



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Comfort, Cuddles, F/M, Flashbacks, I'll add more as i go ofc, Nightmares, Uhhhh i cant remember who else, anyways onto the real tags, hurt comfort, oh all the cuddles, pre timeskip relationship, tags will be updated as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27380488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zelinkslullaby/pseuds/Zelinkslullaby
Summary: Dimitri and Byleth's relationship and feelings from the academy days throughout the war. From enduring dark, cloudy days and thoughts, to clear moonlit nights together.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	From Dark Clouds to a Clear Azure Moon

**Author's Note:**

> I know there's already hundreds of fics like this but dammit I'm going to write my own anyways!
> 
> Its in third person, but shifts between the two. The shifts are double spaced, so I hope it's clear enough to the readers who's perspective we're reading in the moment.

"...I'm _mortified_ by my behaviour. When I saw the chaos and violence there, my mind just went completely dark." His voice waivers, his heart painfully heavy despite how quickly it pounds in his chest. 

Losing himself to that darkness terrifies him... As does admitting it to the one who's opinion of him has come to matter the most... 

When the darkness overwhelms him, it does so completely. His memories of the event are foggy at best. The last thing he can recall clearly is seeing the village in flames. Everything else is dreamlike- or, perhaps _nightmarish_ would be the better word... He saw himself as if through someone else's eyes. Commanding his house ruthlessly to "Sever their limbs and _crush their wicked skulls._ " 

The very thought sends a chill down his spine... Dimitri knew himself capable of becoming a monster on the battlefield, but to order his allies to do the same? It couldn't be. That _couldn't_ have been him... 

And yet... he knew it was. 

Deep in his soul, he knew that he'd done it. That he'd relished in the spray of hot blood across his face. Reveled in taking down the wicked. Felt the metal of his lance mold his hands, incapable of holding back his grip in his disgusting delight. And he had used his authority to command others to join him in it. 

The haunted prince strived every day to cut out those parts of himself. To suppress that ruthless, beastly, _loathesome_ side of himself. 

...The side of himself the dead wanted him to be.

  
"I felt the same." His professor responds with a simple nod. Chaotic was the right word for it. Remire was in flames. Villagers fighting each other like new soldiers on a battlefield. Some terrified, and others looking absolutely feral. It was... hellacious. She knew they had to do _something_. 

So she let her body and instincts take over. Leading others outside her battalion was still relatively new- but aside from that, Byleth allowed the Ashen Demon to take over. Having become a mercenary at such a young age, that is just how it had to be. Her emotions- however muted they may be, couldn't get in the way. She became detached from it all. 

It was only her and the enemy. Her and her mission. Nothing else existed. Once an enemy is slain- they are gone. Out of mind. On to the next. Until there is nothing more. 

Then as the darkness faded away, and the rest of the world came into view... she would often find herself shocked at how many bodies laid slain by her hand. 

But that was not _her_. It wasn't. It was simply a _side_ of her. 

  
"I see... So that happens to you as well, then." It is not something to take joy in sharing- and Dimitri does not treat it as such, but there is relief in knowing he is not the _only_ one capable of becoming a repulsive monster against their will. The heaviness in the pit of his stomach lessens, just slightly, at her lack of disgust.

  
"You weren't yourself." Byleth states, further attempting to ease his guilt with the same words she tells herself.

  
A memory flashes before him unbidden- a young Felix, his closest childhood friend, looking upon him with utter disgust. Fearful tears in his eyes as he yells at him to stay away. Screams at him that he is a monster. 

Two years later, and things have not changed. Felix does nothing but scoff at him in disgust. And Dimitri knows he deserves it. ' _Oh, professor... I wish that were true..._ ' 

Her attempt has the opposite effect- If possible, he appears even more disappointed with himself. 

"I see why you would say that. I always strive to keep my emotions at bay, but... Sometimes the darkness takes hold and it's impossible to suppress. It just shows you how lacking I am... I have much to learn." Dimitri admits, adding inwardly ' _And much still to cut out of myself..._ ' 

Anxiety eats away at him. He suddenly becomes desperate to impress upon her that he is not a monster. Not entirely. 

_"Not yet~"_ The dead whisper, caressing his ears with their chilling breath. 

He couldn't stand for her to hate him- there was a _reason_ he'd become lost to the darkness for just a moment in time. "I told you before... That some day we may find ourselves facing something we simply cannot accept. That's what the chaos in Remire Village was to me. 

"Solon and the flame emperor are both beasts who must be eliminated. Demons who kill the innocent. They arent even human at this point." Dimitri speaks with utter conviction, a deep scowl overtaking his handsome features. Disgust manifests in his stomach. _'I shouldn't have let them get away... I could have stopped them from committing more atrocities that they're no doubt enacting while we speak. Putting more people through what none should ever experience...'_

  
Byleth nods, "I agree. The Flame Emperor appeared before me and my father, and claimed he wasn't involved... But I am not inclined to believe that." She pauses, and decides this is an appropriate opportunity to bring up a concern of hers, "You've been unusually angry since we arrived in Remire Village. What's causing it?" 

Such anger was unlike him. As he had said, he usually kept a good hold on his emotions. He was a patient and gentle man. He had shown such disdain and frustration for their inability to find a peaceful solution with Lanato... Now he'd gone as far as commanding them to " _Sever their limbs and crush their wicked skulls."_

...Had her teaching somehow done this? Was that dark, heartless side of her rubbing off on him? _'Am I stripping away their humanity and turning them into demons as well?'_

  
Dimitri pulls her from those panicked, spiraling thoughts by answering, "It must be hard to fathom. It's true that I don't have any strong connection to those villagers. And yet..." The dignified prince turns away, ashamed and feeling another tendril of anxiety curl around his heart and grip it like a vice, "You see professor... I saw the same flames of torment just four years ago... in Duscur."

  
Cold seeps into her as though she's been dunked in a Faerghus river. ' _He was forced to relive it all over again.'_

  
_~_  
_Fire erupts as if the heavens have declared this land to become hell. Soldiers and innocents alike fall and let out endless, bloodcurtling screams. Bolganone and Meteor spells consuming them- consuming everything. The rest struck down by men from neither Duscur or Faerghus._

_"Please! Have mercy!"_  
_Blood rushes through his ears._  
_"The pain! Make the burning stop! Help me... Somebody..."_  
_The slice of metal through flesh, accompanied by a horrible mix of groan and scream, freeze the young prince in place. Before him falls his knight, his retainer, his **friend**. _  
_"Your highness... please run... Run....... Dimitri..."_  
_He can't move. He can't breathe. There's too much chaos. So much shrieking and death and smoke and **he is all alone**._  
_Glenn's screams deafen him to all else, the visage of his body burning imprinting itself into his mind, threatening to tear his soul from his body._  
_His knight... his beloved friend... died for **him**. _  
_A flash of metal catches his eye- and Dimitri looks up just in time to see a sword slice through his father's neck._  
_His blood runs cold as the rivers in Faerghus. His beloved father's head falls and rolls forward. Followed by his large, imposing body crumpling to the ground. The strongest man he has ever known, his **father**... beheaded. Effortlessly. Murdered right before his eyes._  
_His jaw can't close._  
_He feels his heart pound in every inch of his body._  
_Tears he did not know were spilling stream down his face._  
_"F...Father...?"_  
_A sharp strike to the back of his head knocks him to the ground with a cry. His ears ring louder than any church bell._  
_"Avenge us! Those who killed us... Tear them apart! Destroy them all!"_  
_He looks up in spite of the sickening dizziness and sparks of pain in his shoulders and neck. "Father...?"_  
_A Ragnarok spell soars past him, licking his back with flames and setting him alight._  
_Dimitri can no longer think past the agonizing pain of being burned alive, his cursed instincts forcing him to thrash and snuff them out._  
_~_

The flashback hits him as hard as the hilt of that sword. His head spins- he nearly falls over at the sudden onset of a pounding headache and nausea. This time, though, Byleth acts. She places a steady hand on his arm. Stabilizing him, and grounding him to the present. 

Near instantaneously, the glowing embers fade away from his vision... He's tense at the contact. His professor, of all people, touching _him_ of all people... trying to comfort him. He knows he doesn't deserve it. But he can't find it in him to pull away... He... He wants her comfort. Every fiber of his being screams to fall into her. Hold her tight and close and never let go. Take her back to Fhirdiad with him... 

_'But you don't deserve it.'_  
_'Disgusting beast.'_  
_'Do you think we do not crave comfort and relief?!'_

The screaming and moans of the dead still echo around him... they always do. The dead _demand_ to be avenged. He is their tool. He mustn't let anything stop him- or their screams shall forever remain. They will be forever tortured in the eternal flames because _he_ failed them. Because he dared to survive. 

"My father... my stepmother... four years ago, they lost their lives to those flames." Bitterness seeps into his every word, "I'll _never_ forget... I still remember their faces. Their screams. The tortured last moments of _every person who died that day..._ " his voice tremors with rage and tears he is unwilling to shed.

  
Her heart _aches_. 

Is this the darkness she'd sensed in him when they first met? 

Such... _intense_ pain and sorrow? 

Her hand travels higher on his arm, tempted to rest on his back- 

_'What a strange urge-'_ Byleth thinks. She has never felt inclined to offer physical comfort before. But when she's with him... it feels so natrual. 

He makes her feel many things. Many of which she does not understand, nor felt before. Was it because she has finally made friends her own age? Because she is natrually closest to her house leader? The two are found together constantly. Talking after class, in the library, discussing battles and the mission of each month. They share most meals together, and its no secret she invites him to tea most. The prince certainly needs time to relax once in a while, and she enjoys conversing with him. He even accompanies her on her days off around the monestary. 

Yes. That must be it. This is what closeness felt like. Dimitri is someone she's come to care for. Deeply. And so it makes sense for her to desire to comfort him. Byleth inwardly praises herself for figuring out this one new feeling on her own.

  
After a placating breath, Dimitri pushes past the anguish consuming him, and out of the touch he so desperately longs for. He must focus on the _present_. Focus on what really matters. Not himself. "But right now... All that matters is that we do whatever we can to help the surviving villagers get back to their normal lives." 

  
Byleth nods in agreement.

  
Dimitri steps back to give her a gentlemanly bow, "Thank you. For everything." 

_'Tell her Dimitri. You are a monster. You are **ours**. You belong to **us**. Your life for ours. You have only one mission. Stop wasting your time on this pathetic attempt to be what you are not.' _

It's true. He is a monster. A tool. Not a man. He is no innocent prince learning to become a better King... he is a savage learning how better to kill while searching for clues as to who was involved. He may hold up a facade, but she has already seen it crack... she, of all people, should know the truth- at least part of it. 

He turns away, unable to face her while reveals such, "There's a reason that I came to the Officer's Academy. Just one reason." Darkness slithers into his voice yet again- "I came here for revenge. And one day, I _will_ have it." 

It hurts. He has not the strength to truly walk away from her. His foolish, boyish heart will continue to yearn for her, and he cannot win every battle... The lovesick prince can only hope she will see who he truly is and walk away. That she will protect herself from him, and avoid the path he must follow.

  
She blinks, caught off guard. His quick, long strides tell her to stay away. As worried as he's made her, she respects the silent plea and remains behind. 

However, Byleth will be keeping an even closer eye on her troubled house leader...

**Author's Note:**

> Please do give me some feedback! I've been wanting to write this since the game came out but ya know, life, depression, adhd made me take this long to even finish the first chapter 😅 hopefully updates won't be too slow since I'm writing as I do my second playthrough 👀 I literally have not played for months because I refused to progress until I wrote this.


End file.
